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earthquaiff

elle's mom took us all out for dinner, and she was telling a story about a marijuana cloud in kansas "quafing" in the air, and she undulated her arms as she said this word, "quafe." or maybe it's "quaif"? how do you spell a word you're making up? quaif feels like waif which feels restrictive. quafe seems too phonetic and somehow boringly functional. quaiff with two ff's seems like maybe the most fun. anyway, this quickly led to:

i bequaiff you

go bequaiff yourself

quaiff is when the queef is deep and seismic as a quake, thus: quafe / quaiffe

quaiffe, in the giraffe family

earthquaiffe, our new band

a google search: native spanish speakers contextualizing the english word queef, and then learning pado vaginal (vaginal fart) is the translation...but is there a cooler way to say this in spanish? anybody?

the best dinners come around quickly to yelling about things the pelvis does.

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my first friend (we were literally swaddled pre-verbal bundles together) sent me this drawing today of her record for when i first lirned to rid my bick withtowos. it's so damn cute, because i can hear her little voice and pronunciation in it still. also, please note the small flying person. also of note: that my bik is a line with two wheels. if she truly saw a bicycle this way, then it made my riding of it all the more amazing.

Sara Sutter